Category: Blog

Blog, monday motivation

Habits and Understanding Their Benefits

12 years ago, I bought my first personal development book called “The Power of Habit” written by Charles Duhigg. I remember exactly when I bought this book. It was in September 2008, in Washington, D.C.

It was fascinating for me to discover how our life is run by our habits. In this book you discover how companies and individuals have achieved success by focusing on the patterns that shape every aspect of our life.

This book is the first one of a long series. It is still in my bookcase, back to the US after many years in France.

I want to explore the subject of habits a little more.

A habit is an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary, in effect  it is a typical manner of behavior.

Your life today is essentially the sum of your habits.

How in shape or out of shape you are? A result of your habits.

How happy or unhappy you are? A result of your habits.

How successful or unsuccessful you are? A result of your habits.

Knowing your habits is a lifelong exercise and it takes time to form new habits.

What’s the idea behind creating new habits?

When you shape your life with good habits, your quality of life improves and you open to Infinite Possibilities. You achieve more with less energy. 

You discover the art of living your dreams. 

You have three types of habits: Motor habits, Intellectual habits and Habits of character or emotional habits.
 

What is the Secret to build good habits?

What I know for sure is that consistency is key. 

Habit is a simple form of learning—a change of behavior with experience. It is defined as ‘an automatic response to a specific situation, acquired normally as a result of repetition and learning’.

The process of building a habit can be divided into four simple steps: cue, craving, response, and reward.

William James, the famous American psychologist has suggested the following measures for habit formation.

Strong motivation and a good start

Regular practice

Encouraging and supportive atmosphere

Don’t stop until your goal is achieved

What is the habit that you want to form?

Pick one of these or create your own:

Get on a good schedule.  

Eat a healthy diet. 

Practice gratitude. 

Develop good study habits.  

Never give up!  

Manage money wisely.  

Respect the environment.

Read.

Don’t be a couch potato.

Make Your Bed.

Learn something new every day.

Declutter your life.

Design a better morning routine.

Stop comparing to others

Always do your best.

Practice the four agreements.

Why do you want to form this habit?

Whether it is to think and grow rich or to uncover the life of your dreams, when you know your why it can be the best source of motivation.



After reading this, think about this new habit that you want to form, and make a personal commitment to practice your new habits daily until it is deeply rooted. You won’t regret it!

Blog

Who Do You Choose To Be?

Recently, I chose to be more aligned with my values. I spent time with my family and my friends, I enjoyed the beach, the parks and the beauty of nature. I realized how disconnected we are all from nature. As human beings we were born to live with nature not to destroy it.

I visited a museum in Virginia, with fossils of dinosaurs. Dinosaurs lived between 230 and 65 million years ago, in a time known as the Mesozoic Era. This was many millions of years before the first modern humans, Homo sapiens, appeared. The dinosaur era was about 66 millions of years. They disappeared because of an sudden mass extinction caused by a meteor.

They managed to live and expand during 66 MILLIONS OF YEARS.

The earliest finds of modern Homo sapiens skeletons date to nearly 200,000 years ago on Africa. The emergence of full behavioral modernity was 50,000 years ago.

Some human activities that cause damage (either directly or indirectly) to the environment on a global scale include population growth, overconsumption, overexploitation, pollution, and deforestation, to name but a few.

In less than a million of years, we are very close to provoke our own destruction.

No need of meteor or anything crazy, it is just our own behavior and, more than that, our mindset that is creating our extinction, through global warming.

 

 

cropped-milky-way-stars.jpgWhat are these behaviors?

1. Driving a car

2. Incorrect disposal of batteries and ink

3. Plastic overuse

4. Food waste

5. Paper use

6. Boiling water with electrical appliances

7. Washing (using plastic peeling scrub cleansing micro-balls)

8. Meat consumption

9. Flushing the toilet

10. Brushing teeth

 

On the other side, what are the behaviors that will have a positive impact?

For me, it’s simple, it is about your mindset, your why and your connection with the nature and all human beings.

Because we are all concerned.

A mindset of a shared responsibility for the planet is essential to bring transformative change in the fight against global warming.

Which mindset will you choose?

In a recent study named “Climate Change: What’s your Mindset?”, six different mindsets were described:

Alarmed — convinced of the causes, consequences and seriousness of the issue, believe they are well informed; already making changes in their own lives and support an aggressive national response.

Concerned — convinced the globe is warming and it’s a serious problem, but have not engaged with the issue personally, including not always voting for political parties with strong climate policies.

Cautious — believe it is a problem, although less certain it is happening than the alarmed or concerned. Don’t view it as a personal threat and don’t feel a sense of urgency to deal with it.

Disengaged — haven’t thought much about the issue at all, don’t know much about it, and are the most likely to say that they could easily change their minds about global warming.

Doubtful — evenly split among those who think global warming is happening, those who think it isn’t, and those who don’t know. Many believe if it is happening, it’s caused by natural changes in the environment, won’t harm people for decades, if at all, and that we are already doing enough to respond to the threat.

Dismissive — majority believe warming is not happening, is not a threat to either people or non-human nature, and strongly believe it is not a problem warranting a national response. This group is very sure climate change is not happening, and are often actively involved as opponents of a national effort to reduce emissions.

Who do you choose to be?

Do you choose to watch the beauty of our surroundings disappearing? Or do you choose to act and change?

I choose to act and I invite you to follow my next steps with Little Ecologists on my social media accounts on Instagram and Facebook.
Stay tuned!

Take care and have a wonderful day,
Marie Barbezieux Rousselle
ACC, CPC – ELI-MP

little_ecologists_logo_et_slogan

 

Blog, monday motivation

Grieving the world we have known

We are living unprecedented times.

It’s ok to feel completely lost.

The world we have always known just disappeared and it will never be the same.

We are grieving this world and we are scared about the future and what will come next.

Grief is the psychological-emotional experience following a loss of any kind (relationship, status, job, house, game, income, etc).

Most of you have already experienced grief, and you know there is no set timetable for grief.

With the actual crisis, with so much uncertainty, it will cause multiple losses in people’s lives (job, income, a loved-one, your dreams).

We will learn to live with it, but for now, it’s hard to accept that we will never come back to our previous lives.

This denial phase (the first of the five stages according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross) is often mixed with the feeling of anger.

Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal.

When you start to realize what is going on, you will maybe want to go back in time. You want life returned to what it was; we want our loved one restored. It’s called the bargaining stage.

At some point, when your attention moves back to the present, grief enters your life on a deeper level. You enter into depression. Keep in mind that this depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss.

And, finally, at some point, you, we, all, will accept this new reality. Acceptance is about accepting the reality that our loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality. We will never like this reality or make it OK, but eventually, we accept it. We learn to live with it. In time, through bits and pieces of acceptance, however, we see that we cannot maintain the past intact. It has been forever changed and we must readjust.

We can never replace what has been lost, but we can make new connections, new meaningful relationships, new inter-dependencies.

Instead of denying our feelings, we listen to our needs; we move on, we change, we grow, we evolve.

Rainbow_with_a_Lightning_Storm

When I experienced my first real grief, I was petrified, terrified, devastated. Even my worst-case scenario was better than what I was experiencing.

I don’t know how I quickly accepted my new reality and this abyss in my life and in my heart.

I turned it into a new career, a new spirituality, a new life. I turned my despair into hope, love, and care.

It was my choice. My choice to see my loss as a chance to do something great with my life.

Because when you survive, when you are still there wondering why your loved one is not there anymore, you ask yourself questions.

And the biggest question is Why?

What did I do to deserve that?

Nothing, honey, it’s just life. Life is not easy, it is a fight, death is part of your life and you were so much protected before that you had no idea that it could destroy your life.

Hopefully it didn’t.

At all.

I came out stronger than ever.

My grief is still there, every day. One day it is a smooth feeling, the other day extreme sadness. But the anger disappeared and was replaced by peace. I remember when I was in the torment of the unbelievable, I was trying to focus on what I could do to put my life in order again (actually, it was finding a new job). And I was feeling so guilty to think of my future instead of focusing on the present and just be there.

I shared my feeling with a friend who was with me during this terrible moment. He told me that it was completely normal to feel this way. In a situation so uncertain, I had no control over it, I was so powerless, my way of regaining control was to plan and think about my next job. These simple and wise words were a relief, a revelation. Having someone who tells you that it’s ok, that you are normal, that you are not a bad person, is precious.

It was the start of my new path, my new career, being there to reassure people, make them feel better, and realize what they are meant to be.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

I also want to tell you that I am here to support you mentally.

I will soon launch digital content and webinar to support my community.

I am also offering free discovery session around life, career or business coaching for people in need, please reach out to me directly at marie@rainbow-lifecoaching.com or transfer my information if you think of someone around you.

Stay safe,

Marie Barbezieux Rousselle

Your Coach

Life, Career & Leadership Coach – ACC, CPC – ELI-MP

Life Coaching full of colors
Rainbow Life Coaching

 
 
Blog, monday motivation

How do you avoid burnout?

After I published my last newsletter, I had many reactions from people thanking me for my tips and my insights. I talked about burnout. This word is scary, vague, and almost a taboo subject. Our society created burnout. I saw too many friends and family literally break down because of the stress, anxiety, pressure. And it is not only because of the workload, but it can also be linked to personal issues.

I share with you today my last newsletter and feel free to reach out to me by email (marie@rainbow-lifecoaching.com) if you want to have your insights, experience or need help with your current stressful situation.

Going back to work is never easy, whether it is after the weekend, the holidays, a sabbatical or a parental leave. You feel rusted, tired, and it takes time to find your routine and feel comfortable again.

After a few weeks, you have your habits, your colleagues, your team. You feel right, motivated and excited by your new challenges. 

Sometimes you feel something is missing, you’re not passionate and fulfilled by what you’re doing. You keep doing because you have too, and that’s ok.

In some situations, you will never feel comfortable and relaxed at work. It is too much for you and you are burned out. When you’re at this point or close to it, it’s time to stop.

Don’t wait until it is too late because it will cause you serious wounds and it will take time to heal and recover. And you will never be the same.

What are the signs that show you that you are close to this dead-end?

  • It’s the beginning of the week, and you are already longing for the weekend.
  • Every day is a bad day.
  • You are always tired.
  • You feel disengaged and unmotivated on most days.
  • You are constantly checking how long it is until you can go home.
  • You wake up with a tight feeling in the stomach.
  • You feel there is never enough time to get everything done.
  • You have trouble sleeping.
  • You are more often sick, have frequent headaches or muscle pain.
  • You are irritated by team members or clients.
  • You have thoughts that your work doesn’t have meaning or make a difference.
  • You’re thinking of quitting work or changing roles.
  • All of the above have been experienced most days in the past three months.

Burnout is described by Herbert J. Freudenberger as “a state of fatigue or frustration brought about by devotion to a cause, way of life, or relationship that failed to produce the expected reward.”

A core part of burnout is a deep sense of disillusionment.

Exhaustion can be solved with rest and sleep. Disillusionment cannot.

How can you avoid burnout?

  • Find purpose in your job.

I have always met people passionate about their jobs. I had no idea why and how they found their jobs interesting. They were not always in love with their daily tasks but they know they will help them have an impact and feel purposeful. And that is the most important.

Look at the deeper impact of what you do every day; how does your work make life better for other people? How could you add more meaning to what you do every day?

If you know why you are doing your job, even the most boring part of your job will have more meaning. Some tasks have just to be down. For example, in my job as a coach, and even before when I was advertising, I loved meeting new people, writing, and having powerful conversations. I was never over-addict to building Powerpoint. I’ve done thousands in my previous jobs, they were a way for me to convince clients that I had the right solutions for them.

like to serve my clients and I am deeply convinced I have the right solutions for them, so I accept the fact that I have to spend hours building this beautiful presentation. I even find some excitement and pride when it is finished and well-designed.

Find why you chose your field, your company, your current job. Why are you here today? Reconnect to your first moments, your first feelings, your goals.

Spend time thinking deeply about them.

Are you still in alignment with them?

If you are not, what has changed?

  • Take control.

Create more autonomy in your work.

When your work schedule is full of meetings and you do not have time to eat or have a coffee, it often means that you do not have the time to do your work well and you feel frustrated.

Before accepting an invitation to a meeting, ask yourself this question: Will I bring value to this meeting? If you’re not a decision-maker, you can also ask for the summary of the meeting. And use this time to work on your main project (or have lunch!).

What are your priorities?

Take time to think about your hopes, goals, and dreams. Are you neglecting something that is truly important to you?

To have more control in your planning and tasks, you can use a daily planner to manage your to do-list, mind mapping techniques to feel more creative and think outside of the box, or an action program

  • Free up time every day to listen to your “rescue” songs. 

Songs you deeply love and connect you to your body and your feelings.

Plug your headphones, enter in your bubble, and listen to your favorite songs.

I will share with you some songs I like, they help me to “escape” from my stress or anxiety. They make me travel. They make me dance. They inspire me. They help me breathe again. Some of them make me cry, and it is good because you need to feel again when you’re close to burnout.

Ed Sheeran – Shape of You, College & Electric Youth – A Real Hero, Sting – Englishman In New York, most of the Jean-Jacques Goldman songs – Tourne les Violons, L.EJ..

  • Manage your stress by taking care of you

Build your resilience to stress by taking care of your physical and emotional health.

  • Seek support.

When you’re on the road to burnout, you can feel helpless.

Reach out to those closest to you, such as your partner, family, and friends.

Whether it is because you figure out you are in the wrong career or because you are not feeling good, it can be time to see a specialist: a therapist, a career or life coach. It is the first step. Let me know if you need help or referrals.

  • Make exercise a priority.

Exercise is a powerful antidote to stress and burnout. It may be the last thing you feel doing, especially if you are very tired. Do very simple exercises that you can implement in your daily routine.10 minutes per day is better than nothing.

A 10-minute walk can improve your mood for two hours.

Stretch yourself to relax your back every hour.

Take the stairs instead of the elevator.

Get off the subway one station before your final stop. And walk.

Focus on your body and how it feels as you move. Your brain will thank you for stopping thinking, even for a few minutes.

 

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – Lou Holtz

Feel free to reach out to share your story.

Best,

Marie Rousselle

Life & Career Coach, Founder of Rainbow Life Coaching

Blog, monday motivation

Do you feel like an imposter?

Most of the time I fell I am in the right place, doing what I love, learning and growing.

Last week, I lived an interesting experience. I was in a good mood, sitting in a room for great training, excited to learn and grow. Until this moment when I realized that I was surrounded by professionals from… the Automotive sector.

Great. 

I was an imposter.

Sitting there, as a Life and Business Coach, watching slides showing how the Automotive sector has been disrupted by Carvana.

Mmmmm, right, not at all my business.

The truth is that I was literally laughing silently when I realized my misunderstanding.

I stayed, almost the whole day, and I learned so many insights about this industry, and, more globally, about how to create a great customer experience.

Why did I stay?

My younger self would have been so uncomfortable in this situation, feeling queasy. Or would have left the room to go back to my office.

I stayed. And I learned. Because it is my daily mindset. I want to learn and grow every day. I want to open my perspective. So I said to myself, why not?

During this training, I learned not just to increase my customer experience ratings but also I had new ideas and innovative ways to share my content. And I had the subject for my next newsletter: the Imposter Syndrome.

What is the Impostor Syndrome?

For me, it was similar to my situation, I was among experts from the Automotive industry looking for insights to get more leads and I was… a Life and Business Coach looking for insights to improve my digital marketing strategy. 

Hopefully, in my previous jobs, I was working for a mapping website and I used to work for major manufacturing companies. And I just read an article about BlaBlaCar and Klaxit so I was able to start a conversation about how the market in Europe is different from the US. Not that bad.

I was not really an imposter. I was an intruder.

So, what is really the Impostor Syndrome?

According to Wikipedia, the Impostor Syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud“. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved.

This Syndrome is very common and I’m sure you already had this feeling of “I don’t deserve it. I am not in the right place. Someone is better than me.”

After my “What the hell am I doing here” experience, I looked further at this concept and I realized that it’s correlated with the “I am lucky” feeling.

A month ago, I started a newsletter titled “Are you lucky”. I didn’t finish it because my inspiration wasn’t there. Today is a good day to tell you that no, you are not lucky. If you are successful in your job, if you are in a relationship with the love of your life, if you have beautiful children, or if you traveled to many countries it is not because of LUCK it is because of YOU and the choices you made.

When I meet someone (mostly women) telling me “You know what, I was lucky. I got this opportunity, I didn’t work so much for it, I had luck.” I am furious. I want to scream at him or her – I know it sounds over-reacting – but I have this excessive reaction because I was one of these people.

I am not anymore.

I realized that what happened to me came because of my actions and thoughts.

Even my most difficult experiences.

This was the hardest part to digest when I studied the Law of Attraction. You are the leader, the captain of your life, and luck is just a small part of the good things that happened to you. When I say luck, it can be good or bad luck.

Anyway, to come back to the Impostor Syndrome, I will go deeper into the definition and share with you some tips to help you battle this.

Do you feel like an imposter? Do you believe that you don’t deserve your success?

Imagine accomplishing an amazing achievement through a great deal of effort and hard work, yet feeling like you don’t deserve the ensuing accolade. Individuals with “Impostor Syndrome” tend to suffer from a very specific self-esteem issue: The belief that they are unworthy of success. 

Many high achievers feel like frauds – like they are not worthy of their success, no matter how many trophies, certificates, or accolades they’ve received. They diminish the significance of their achievements and attribute them to luck or other forces outside their control, rather than their own effort, dedication, and even intelligence. For people with impostor syndrome, their biggest fear is that people will soon discover that they are frauds and not as skilled, intelligent, or competent as they make themselves out to be.

You can have these thoughts:

I didn’t get that promotion because I earned it, I got it because I was lucky. 

I didn’t get to lead that project because I had the most experience on the team—I got it because the timing worked out.

They all know. It’s only a matter of time until I’m called out. I’m a fraud.

Do this test if you want to evaluate your Impostor Syndrom.

To reassure you, if you haven’t had a moment in which you were buffeted by these sorts of fears, you’re in the minority.

Now that you know more about it, how can you stop questioning your capabilities and competence?

How to banish Imposter Syndrome and embrace everything you deserve?

There are ways to combat it! You can train yourself to quickly identify it, manage it, and live to rise again.

Try some of these tips:

  •  Identify what’s shaking your confidence

What is it that’s making you feel doubtful?

That spot where you’re underselling yourself is likely the root of the problem.

  • Share it

Pick someone you trust to talk about your waning self-confidence. If it’s a work problem, make sure to confide in someone who isn’t your co-worker. Choose someone who sees you outside of that environment: He or she can identify when those feelings of fear are irrational and remind you of your strengths.

  • Remind yourself of all of your achievements

Start an accomplishment box. Recount your most recent accomplishments. Take a look at everything you’ve achieved, and reflect on all the hard work you’ve put in to get to where you are now. Embrace the fact that you got yourself to where you are. You’ve earned your spot—your accomplishments are proof of that.

  • Trust others

Remind yourself that the people who got you here are incredibly competent and they did not make a mistake. Your boss or hiring manager is not an idiot. Don’t doubt the intelligence of those who have promoted you, hired you, or offered you opportunities. They have made deliberate choices based on your experience and potential. You really do deserve to be there.

  • Take risks

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Write it down, say it out loud, tell someone else, and do it. The worst that can happen is that it doesn’t work. So what? Do the work and keep going. Don’t let imposter syndrome derail you from what’s rightfully yours.

  • Take a hard look at your language and update It

Do you say “I feel” a lot? How about using “I think” to start your sentences? Have you been pitching ideas prefaced with “It might just be me, but?”

Update your language with more confident, assertive phrases, and you’ll start to believe in what you’re saying. Assume your questions are valid, and that you’re probably not the only one to have them. Try: “I have a question—and I’m sure I’m not the only one.” Champion your ideas through a more assertive language.

  • Mentor others

You have expertise to share. Share it with someone who needs it. Not only will you realize how much knowledge you really do have, but you’ll also likely uncover new strengths in the process. Mentoring can reveal skills you took for granted or mistakenly assumed came from luck. It’s empowering to know you are helping someone in his or her journey, too.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Every time I was called on in class, I was sure that I was about to embarrass myself. Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly. And every time I didn’t embarrass myself — or even excelled — I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up … This phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt has a name — the impostor syndrome. Both men and women are susceptible to the impostor syndrome, but women tend to experience it more intensely and be more limited by it.” —Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In

 

Train yourself to identify your Imposter Syndrome, have fun, be grateful for what you have!

I wish you a wonderful day.

Marie

Blog

Reflect, think and plan to achieve your goals.

Time passes so quickly.

Today is the 1st of July, as we start the second half of the year, it is a good time to reflect and think about how to make 2019 a great year for your professional and personal life. 

What were your goals?

Most of you started your year with New Year resolutions or did a list of goals to achieve by June 30th or December 31st.

How far are you from completing them?

Taking the time to think about your goals and reevaluate them is important.

You will have a clearer view of your main goals for the rest of the year, and a plan to achieve them.

my-plan

I did the exercise: I took my list of goals, my calendar. I checked what was on my planning for the first half of the year, and what I actually did.

No surprise, I had a lot in my planning, and like most of you, I didn’t achieve all of my goals.

Why?

So many reasons, but I think the most important is that my values (love, family, honesty) were challenged a lot and I choose to follow my own values and protect myself from burning out.

For example, I need to sleep more than 7 hours per night.

One of my goals was to do my Miracle Morning every morning at 6 am.

Actually, it happened that I cannot plan at what time I will wake up in the morning because my baby can wake up me at 4 am, 5 am or 6.30 am.

I need to sleep at least 7 hours per night (or my health and sanity will be damaged) and I definitely don’t want to wake up at 4:30 am which means getting to bed at 9.30 pm to get enough sleep.

My good resolution to adopt the Miracle Morning in my life had to be postponed.

For the same reason, I cannot work at night after my kids are asleep.

I keep myself away from screens.

I use my time to relax, meditate, read a book or cleaning up.

As a result, the time allowed for my daily tasks and my main goals were less important than planned, and I was not able to achieve all of them.

And I am completely ok with this, as I am flexible, I adapt my priorities, and I reevaluate my goals each month.

This week, take the time to think about your initial plan, and how it went finally.

Why did you do this?

What is the main reason why you failed to achieve your goal?

On the other hand, what were your successes?

How did you get them?

It can be the amount of energy you put into it, motivation, self-confidence, your positive mindset.

It can be money, relationships, persistence.

The goals you have can be professional, like finding a new job, getting promoted, launching your company, gaining new clients.

You can have goals to increase your quality of life, your relationships, like losing weight, gaining confidence, stopping smoking, getting married, having children, traveling more, adopting a dog, having more fun.

Some goals are easier to reach than others when you can have a plan and follow logical and measurable steps.

Finding a job, losing weight, traveling more are more measurable goals than gaining confidence and having more fun for example.

How do you know when you feel better?

How do you know when you had more fun than before?

We are looking for evidence.

We are looking for happiness.

We are looking for a perfect life.

I can tell you that your life is perfect as it is.

It is the life you choose, and if you’re not happy with it it is up to you to change because nobody will change it for you.

When I was studying happiness, I quickly realized that it is not the goal that matters but the process to go there.

So enjoy the process, have fun, it’s the best part!

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

– Anonymous

Contact me at marie@rainbow-lifecoaching.com to discuss how I can help you with planning your goals for the next 6 months and getting the best out of your life.

Enjoy your day!

Marie